TIPS ON OVERCOMING GRIEF

Tips On Overcoming Grief

Grief is a natural response to loss, particularly if it’s a loved one. It’s a process that everyone experiences uniquely, and can bring about intense feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. 

It’s not a sign of weakness, but a natural sign that a person has loved deeply and is learning to live without someone important 

In this article, you will learn about:

– How important understanding and managing grief is to maintain your mental health.

– Key learning outcomes, such as recognising the symptoms of grief and methods for coping with grief.

– The grieving process, practical strategies for grief management, and the role of professional help to overcome it.

– The benefits of understanding these topics can lead to improved wellbeing, practical knowledge of self-care during a difficult time, as well as knowing when to seek professional help.

– How to practise the coping strategies discussed, seek support, and take care of your physical health during the grieving process.

Table of Contents

Tips on Overcoming Grief

Grief can be challenging to navigate. It’s filled with different emotions and physical symptoms that can change depending on the day. One person might feel anger, while another might experience intense sadness. 

In the midst of these strong and overwhelming feelings, it’s good to remember that every person grieves in a different way. Marie Curie, a renowned British charity, emphasises there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Allow yourself to feel the grief

– It’s important to let yourself fully experience all the emotions that come along with grieving, including sadness, anger, and despair. Avoiding feelings or numbing pain with unhealthy habits will only prolong the process.

– For example, let yourself cry if and when you need to, having compassion for all your emotions. Tears help the body physically process loss. 

Talk about the person you’ve lost 

– Speaking about the person openly and sharing positive memories can help ease the pain. Consider dedicating time to tell stories with other friends or family.

– Looking at old photos or videos of times in the past can help connect you to these warm memories, bringing some comfort during the grief journey.  

Take care of your physical health

– Grief is exhausting, so make sure to get plenty of rest. Eat healthy foods and stay hydrated, even if you don’t feel hungry. Your body needs care to handle the demands of grief. 

– Light exercise like walking can help boost endorphins and bring clarity of mind. But don’t overdo activities if you don’t have the energy. Respect what your body asks for.

You can also watch this video on Youtube here.

Seek extra support if needed

– If the intensity of grief feels too heavy, reach out to a grief counsellor or bereavement support group. Connecting with others going through similar experiences can help you feel less alone. 

– Confide in trusted friends and family who will listen without judgement. Their ongoing compassion through this sensitive time matters.

Embrace spirituality if it comforts you

– Some are comforted when leaning into spiritual beliefs around death, envisioning their loved one at peace. It can bring a measure of acceptance and hope that the loved one is happy. 

– Rituals like prayer or visiting places associated with the dead can help bridge the gap between their life and legacy. Find any rituals that may resonate with you, but don’t feel pressure into these.

Expect ups and downs 

– Know that grieving happens in waves, and difficult periods are often mixed with minutes, hours or days of feeling the process with less weight. Ups and downs are normal, be patient with the process.

– Support may matter most on harder days. Have a list of crisis numbers or friends to call if you feel unable to cope on your own.

Allow extra grace for big days

– Birthdays, holidays, and the anniversary of the death often intensify grief, even if you feel you’ve moved on. Allow yourself to not celebrate these if it feels too difficult. 

– For important events, modify traditions and celebrations at your own pace. Blend these with remembrance in ways that offer comfort. 

Write letters to express feelings

– Writing unsent letters to the person who died can help clarify and bring catharsis to complicated emotions, memories, regrets, and anything left unsaid. 

– Journaling when you feel like it through the grief process also helps. Capture any emotions that feel too complex for words, revisiting entries later. 

Consider grief counselling 

– If dealing with guilt, deep loneliness or feeling stuck at any stage, seek professional support. Grief counselling techniques can help. 

– Grief groups also allow us to learn from others’ experiences. Connecting over shared sorrow fosters hope.

Look for meaning amidst the loss

– In time, volunteering, raising awareness about a related cause, or positively changing your life can help the loved one’s legacy and ease pain.

– Reflect on any lessons, values or wisdom you learned from that person. Carry these forward to make loss meaningful and keep them in your mind and heart.

Trust in gradual healing 

– Know that though grief journeys are complex and unique for everyone, almost everyone does find increasing peace as the days, weeks, and months go by after a loss.

– The most intense part of sorrow softens over time. One day fond memories become more predominant than the immediate grief.

Be gentle with your process

– There is no “right way” or perfect timeline for your grieving. Each person needs different things to heal. Go at your pace without any judgement to yourself about how long it takes.

– If you’re still struggling after an extended time or experiencing panic attacks, reach out for extra support to find coping strategies that can help you.

"Grief is a natural response to loss, particularly if it’s a loved one. It's a process that everyone experiences uniquely, and can bring about intense feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety."

Recognising the Stages of Grief

The grieving process is often described as happening in a series of stages. According to the American Psychological Association, these stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

This model provides a framework for understanding the process of grief, but this is simplified, and not everyone will experience all these stages in the same order.

Denial is often the first response to loss. It can help the mind to cope with intense feelings of grief. For a lot of people, it can feel like a bad dream that you’ll soon wake up from. But as the reality of the loss sets in, the denial will fade. 

Anger is another common stage of grief. It might be directed at whoever has died, at oneself, or even at the world more generally. It’s a natural response to loss and should be recognised as such.

Bargaining is a stage involving thinking about what they could have done differently to stop or delay the loss, along with guilt. They might find themselves stuck in a loop of “if only” statements. 

Depression involves intense sadness and loss for a period. This is a natural response to understanding the true extent of the loss. It’s not a sign of any mental illness, but just a normal part of the process.

Acceptance occurs when people start to learn to live with their loss. It doesn’t mean they’re okay with the loss, but they’re just learning to live with it.

Practical Strategies for Grief Management

Practical Strategies for Grief Management

Managing grief is incredibly personal, but there are several practical strategies that can help. These include expressing your feelings, taking care of your physical health and wellbeing, as well as seeking professional help if you need it.

Expressing your feelings is also an important component to understanding grief. This can be done through talking with other friends and family, writing in a journal, or through creative outlets like art or music. It can provide a release for the strong feelings of grief.

Taking care of your physical health is crucial after grief. Loss can cause physical symptoms like loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, and a lack of energy. But making sure you’ve got a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and sleeping well can help manage these. 

If your grief feels overwhelming or if you’re struggling to cope, which is very common, it might be helpful to seek professional help. 

A grief counsellor or a mental health professional can provide support and guidance for coping strategies during this difficult time, helping to navigate these complex emotions. 

Seeking Professional Help for Grief

 A mental health professional, such as a grief counsellor or a therapist, can provide support during this difficult time if grief starts to become overwhelming.

Grief counselling is a type of therapy that can help people navigate their feelings of grief. A grief counsellor can help to provide a safe environment to express feelings, help identify unhelpful coping strategies, and provide new ones that might be healthier in managing symptoms.

Grief therapy is a more intensive form of support that might be helpful for those experiencing complicated grief over a longer period. 

This condition lasts for a long time and interferes with a person’s everyday functioning in their daily life. Grief therapy can help people process their loss and find ways to move forward.

In the UK, several organisations provide bereavement support, including the Marie Curie charity. These offer ranging services, such as bereavement counselling and support groups.

Seeking professional help for grief is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and a recognition that you’re taking steps to manage your grief in a healthy way. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and can be very beneficial.

Seeking Professional Help for Grief

The Pros and Cons of Strategies for Overcoming Grief

Grief is a universal human experience after loss, but the way we cope with it varies greatly from person to person, with many advantages and disadvantages to the different strategies. 

Beneficial Strategies for Overcoming Grief

1) Helps to Navigate Emotions

– Embracing grief instead of suppressing the emotions can help with easier navigation. This can lead to a healthier mental state, encouraging a natural processing of loss.

– Grief counselling or therapy often equip individuals with these tools to manage their emotions constructively.

2) Encourages Reaching Out for Support

– When a person is grieving, reaching out to others for support can provide comfort and reduce any lonely feelings.

– Support groups, friends, family members, or a grief counsellor can provide a safe space to share feelings and experiences, as well as fostering a sense of belonging and understanding.

3) Promotes Physical Health

– Practising self-care and maintaining physical health can often be overlooked during the grieving period. However, managing physical symptoms of grief, such as loss of appetite or sleep disturbances, is crucial to remain healthy.

– Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can boost your mood and energy levels, contributing to overall well-being.

4) Provides Professional Guidance

– Grief can sometimes be overwhelming, and professional help can be beneficial to guide you through your unique experience. – Seeking this trained help also often offers coping strategies and gain insights you may not otherwise have had that can help in overcoming grief.

5) Enhances Self-Awareness

– Going through the grieving process can lead to having more self-awareness. Individuals often learn a lot about themselves, their coping mechanisms, and their emotional resilience.

– This self-awareness can be taken into other aspects of life, contributing to overall personal growth and emotional intelligence in the long-term.

Cons of Strategies for Overcoming Grief

1) May Feel Uncomfortable Initially

– Opening up about grief and feelings of loss can be uncomfortable for many people, especially in the early stages or if the individual is naturally private about their problems.

– Some people may find it difficult to share their feelings with a grief counsellor or support group, because of the feelings of vulnerability and discomfort.

2) Time and Commitment

– Overcoming grief requires time and commitment. It’s a process that can’t be rushed, or it will not be effective. This can be challenging for individuals who want quick solutions.

– Regular counselling or therapy sessions require a time commitment, which can be difficult for some due to other obligations or impatience.

Anticipatory Grief and Its Impact

3) Potential for Misunderstanding

– Each person’s grief experience is unique, and there is potential for misunderstanding when seeking support from others. They may not fully understand your experience, leading to frustration.

– This can be particularly challenging when taking part in support groups, where varied experiences and perspectives are shared.

4) Cost of Professional Services

– The cost of professional services, such as grief counselling or therapy, can be a barrier for access for some individuals.- Funding for these services can vary in the UK, with some areas having better provision than others. Check with your local healthcare professional about what may be available on the NHS for you.

5) Risk of Dependency

– There is a potential risk of becoming overly dependent on support groups or therapy to cope with grief. This can hinder the development of personal coping strategies on your own.

– It’s a good idea to balance external support with developing their own resilience and coping mechanisms.

Anticipatory Grief and Its Impact

Anticipatory grief occurs before a loss, commonly observed when a loved one is terminally ill, and individuals grieve the loss that’s about to happen. This type of grief can bring about intense emotions, from sadness, anger, to anxiety, much like regular grief experienced after a loss.

The experience of anticipatory grief varies greatly from person to person. Some may find it helps them prepare for the loss when it actually happens, while others may feel overwhelmed by the double burden of caring for a loved one while also experiencing grief-like symptoms. 

It’s a complex emotion that can be difficult to navigate without adequate support.

Seeking support from a professional, like a grief counsellor or mental health professional, can be beneficial to manage anticipatory grief. They can provide guidance and support, helping individuals to process their emotions and prepare for the upcoming loss they might feel. 

As well as this, support groups can provide a great sense of community and shared understanding of people going through something similar, which can be comforting during this difficult time.

In the UK, organisations like Marie Curie offer anticipatory grief support to those dealing with a loved one with a terminal illness, providing both this professional guidance and a community of support. 

They recognise that anticipatory grief is crucial in the grieving process and aim to provide comprehensive support to those going through this challenging time.

The Role of Funeral Directors in Grief Support

Funeral directors play a significant role in supporting families during the grieving process. While they are primarily responsible for organising the funeral, their role often extends further to providing support and guidance to the family. 

In the middle of grief, arranging a funeral can be overwhelming. Funeral directors provide practical assistance here, taking care of the logistics and allowing the family to focus on processing their grief, whilst alleviating some of the stress and anxiety linked to planning a funeral. 

Beyond the practical help, funeral directors also often provide emotional support. They are trained to deal with grief, and their understanding and compassionate approach can be comforting to families. 

They can also direct families to additional support services if they need it, such as grief counselling or support groups. 

In the UK, organisations like the National Association of Funeral Directors ensure their members are trained in supporting bereaved families, emphasising that funeral directors play an important part in the grieving process. 

Recognising and Managing Intense Grief 

Intense grief, also known as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder, is an extended period of mourning that interferes with an individual’s ability to function everyday. 

Unlike normal grief, which gradually fades over time, intense grief remains persistent for a longer period and can lead to other mental health issues like depression or anxiety.

Recognising that you’re experiencing intense grief can be challenging and scary as everyone’s grief experience is different. 

However, if feelings of sadness and loss remain intense and persistent, impacting daily activities and mental health, it may be time to seek professional help to get out of it.

 A mental health professional or grief counsellor can diagnose intense grief and provide appropriate treatment and coping strategies.

Treatment for intense grief usually involves therapy, often incorporating cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques. This can help individuals to understand and change thought patterns that maintain harmful behaviours or intense emotional distress. 

Medication may also be prescribed to manage any associated mental health conditions that develop, like depression or anxiety.

Seeking professional help for intense grief is crucial. In the UK, organisations like Cruse Bereavement Care offer support and counselling for those suffering intense grief, providing a much-needed lifeline of support during this difficult time.

Recognising and Managing Intense Grief 

A Case Study on Implementing Tips for Overcoming Grief

This real-world example should make the tips and strategies discussed in the article more relatable and concrete, helping to overcome grief. 

Meet John, a 75-year-old man from Manchester. John lost his wife to cancer six months ago. As his wife’s primary caregiver during her illness, John experienced anticipatory grief, noticing. an array of intense emotions, including sadness, anger, and anxiety. 

When his wife passed away, this anticipatory grief transitioned into bereavement. John found himself experiencing intense emotions while also having to arrange a funeral. The funeral director provided both practical and emotional support during this process. 

They took care of the logistics of the funeral, allowing John and his family to focus on his feelings and the grieving process. 

In the months following his wife’s death, John’s grief remained intense. He found it difficult to manage his daily activities and noticed symptoms of low-mood and depression. 

Recognising these symptoms as possible indicators of complicated grief, John decided to seek professional help. 

John began attending grief counselling sessions with a certified counsellor. He found the sessions beneficial, allowing him to express his feelings in a safe and supportive environment. 

The counsellor also helped John develop effective coping strategies, such as journaling and mindfulness practices, to manage his grief.

This case study illustrates that grief is deeply personal, influenced by numerous factors. It also emphasises the importance of seeking professional help when needed. 

John’s journey through grief is ongoing and he still has good and bad days, but with the right support and coping strategies, he is learning to navigate this.

Key Takeaways and Learnings

The article has provided a thorough exploration of the topic of overcoming grief. The summary below highlights the key points and suggested actions to help manage this challenging emotional journey.

– Grief is a natural response to loss, bringing about intense feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety. 

– Each person’s grieving process is unique. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s important to allow oneself to feel the emotions that come to the surface. 

– Support from others, including family members, friends, or grief support groups, can provide a sense of comfort and reduce feelings of isolation in this difficult time.

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